Saturday, April 26, 2008

Sometimes, I am dumb

So, yesterday morning, I was doing a bit of tidying before my friend Alexcia came to stay, and had two bags of rubbish to get rid of. I carried one in each hand, and held my keys in my left hand, and took them to the communal bins.

I left my front door a bit open, but as I was walking away, I heard the wind slam it shut. "Whew", I thought, "good thing I have my keys."

I got to the garbage area, opened the big metal door and swung the bag in my left hand into the bin. As it was going in, however, the handle of the bag looped around my front door key and pulled it into the bin.

That's right. My keys. In the garbage. My front door. Locked.

Now, just to give you the right mental image of my stupidity, the bins made of metal, about five feet high, around four feet in diameter and on wheels. They're really big.

My keys were sitting on a black bin bag, and were about half way down. Obviously, I couldn't get them.

Someone had left a washing machine sitting in the garbage area, which is where we all leave big stuff to be picked up by the garbage men. (Actually, it was sitting pretty much right where the tree on the left is in this entry.) And I had a genius idea.

I would wheel the giant bin to beside the washing machine, climb up on it, and reach into the bin, and grab the keys. And then, ta da! I'd be all set.

I opened both the huge doors and wheeled the bin out. Due to the kind of wheels on it, I had to kind of turn at as I pulled it, creating a nice spinning out motion. I finally got it to the washing machine, climbed on, and reached in. And was still about ten inches away from the stupid keys.

So, I spun the stupid bin back into it's storage room.

I decided to knock on the door of the one neighbour I kind of know. She's nice, in a "lecture me about life in general" kind of way. But, of course, she wasn't home.

I was really stumped. Julia wasn't going to be home for ages, Alexcia was arriving in a few hours and I was totally stuck.

Then, like a beacon of hopeful light, a door on the building opposite opened. An young-ish woman walked out and I immediately ran up to her, all "excusemeI'msostupidbutIdroppedmykeysinthebinandneedhelpdoyouhaveacoathangeroranything". After she figured out my crazed speech, she told me that she didn't live there, but was just the carer. A teensy tiny little old woman walked out behind her, and I went into the whole speech again. The teensy tiny little old woman (or TTLOW) went and got me a Marks & Spencer hanger.

I raced over to the bin, and reached in. I was still about 8 inches away from those damn freaking keys. Dammit!

TTLOW called out to see if I was having any luck, and when she heard I wasn't, mentioned she had a stepladder. She walked back into her house, and I followed her in, because she was teensy and tiny and shouldn't be carrying ladders for me.

I grabbed the ladder, hauled it over to the bin, climbed up, reached in with the hanger, and ..... SUCCESS!!

I snagged the key ring on the end of the hanger, and was back in business. I carried the hanger and stepladder back to TTLOW and thanked her profusely. She really was very nice.

So, half an hour of idiocy later, I was back in my flat.

Needless to say, I will be carrying my keys in my pocket every time I go to the bins now. The lesson, she is learned.