Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Merry Christmas Movie Marathon!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I've just finished my most delightful Christmas movie marathon, although sadly not in my new flat, because I'm not going to be in there till January, which is a whole other tragic and horrible story that we won't even get into now, because this is a time for Christmas happiness, not flat related misery.

In November, I asked for suggestions for favourite Christmas movies. I scoured eBay and my DVD collection for the finest Christmas movies my meagre amount of money could find, and came up with what I think is a pretty damn fine list.

I was planning on watching all of these fabulouso films on Christmas day, but that plan went down the drain when I did a bit of math and realized that I had about 28 hours worth of Christmassy goodness. So, two days it is!

And here it is - the finest list of Christmas movies of all time!

Christmas Eve

We started off with One Magic Christmas, which is a movie we had when I was a kid and I loved, loved, loved. And I'm pleased to say that I love it still. Mary Steenburgen stars as a woman who doesn't like Christmas, and her adorable daughter conspires with an angel, played by Harry Dean Stanton in an interesting casting choice, to give her the Christmas spirit. It has more kidnapping and murder than you'd expect in a movie about Christmas. Delightful!

Next was the 1951 version of Scrooge, the black and white version, as recommended by Aaron. I'd never seen this before, and I liked it, although the early 50's overacting got a bit much at times. It's a classic though, and I'm happy to now own it.

The second A Christmas Carol movie of the marathon was Scrooged, which I love. Bill Murray at his most Bill Murrayist. Carol Kane as the ghost of Christmas present who keeps kicking his ass. Alfre Woodard, who always rocks. Bobcat Goldwaith as a character who didn't annoy the crap out of me. Robert Goulet as himself. Delightful!! I did fast forward through some of the boring bits, but this movie is a holiday classic.

Christmas with SCTV was something I'd never come across before, but I saw it on eBay and knew it must be mine. It's two one hour specials - the 1981 and 1982 Christmas specials as they aired on TV. It's full of the classic SCTV characters, and I did like it, but it was a bit long. Next!

Another Christmas classic that was recommended but I'd not seen was The Ref. Normally I don't like the Spacey, but I did here. And I loved the Christmas wreath/candle head things that they wear. I want to get me one of those. It's chock full of swearing and yelling which is a nice break from the sap of Christmas.

I don't save it for Christmas, because I like to watch it all year, but Elf is a delightful movie that I love, love, love. Seen it a million times, and still love, love, love it. This was Sean's recommendation and I have to agree. "You sit on a throne of lies" is a line that makes me aught to even think about. Ha!

The final movie of Christmas Eve was A Christmas Story, which is the Christmassy of most Christmas classics. I want a Red Rider BB Gun for Christmas. And I will not shoot my eye out! Little Randy with his over stuffed snow suit and pig noises is so adorably cute, I could die. Adorable!

Christmas Day

Merry Christmas! We begin with my favourite Christmas cartoon, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, and I would like to clarify that I do not acknowledge the existence of that crappy Jim Carrey monstrosity. I love this cartoon. That's all I have to say about this. Love.

Next up was Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, the first in my unintentional Rankin/Bass mini-marathon. This is a Christmas classic, and I love it, but man, is it sexist! "They knew they should fight the abominable snowman, but felt it was best to get the women folk home". Shocking! You'd think this was made in 1864, not 1964.

In 1987, my parents taped A Claymation Christmas Celebration from TV, and it was one of my favourites. I found it again on eBay and I was super excited! And, it did not disappoint! Herb and Rex, the dinosaurs hosting our claymation fun, are hilarious, the songs are great, the California Raisins are so freakin' cool. How can you go wrong?

Next in the unintentional Rankin/Bass mini-marathon, was Frosty the Snowman. Again, a classic. And again, dated! How does Frosty know what a thermometer is, but not know what a stoplight is? Huh? Tell me that! And Karen is a troublemaker, what with the "I'm going to the North Pole too". And I'm going to be honest with you here - they did steal the magician's hat! There, I said it.

The Little Drummer Boy was the next in the unintentional Rankin/Bass mini-marathon. I haven't seen this since I was a kid, and I totally thought it was the story of the Little Drummer Boy turning up at the stable. And I was right, because apparently I got Book II, not the original. Which is the story of The Drummer Boy and one of the wise men saving some silver bells. Not as fabulous. A bit of a Christmas disappointment, I have to say.

Tim recommended one of his Christmas favourites, The Year Without a Santa Claus, the final film in the unintentional Rankin/Bass mini-marathon. I'd never seen this one, but it's not too shabby. Basically, Santa gets whiny, decides no one likes him and decides to cancel Christmas. And who has to save the day? Mrs. Claus, that's who. Still a bit sexist, though. I don't know if those Rankin/Bass guys like the ladies too much.

In the world of poorly animated Christmas cartoon specials, I may like A Garfield Christmas best. John, Odie and Garfield go to the farm for Christmas with Mom, Dad, Doc Boy and Grandma. And who knew that I knew the words to "Let's Have A Good Old Fashioned Christmas Down On The Farm"? Cause, you know, a little overeatin' never did you any harm.

The pinnacle of Christmas cartoons is A Charlie Brown Christmas, which is a classic of classic proportions. Charlie Brown finding the meaning of Christmas? Who wouldn't love that? I love the songs and the kid voices and Linus revealing the true meaning of Christmas. And Snoopy with the decorations. Aw!

The final A Christmas Carol movie in the marathon is Abby's recommendation, A Muppet Christmas Carol. And it is fan-freaking-tastic. Michael Caine is fabulous, Kermit is a moving Bob Cratchitt, Gonzo is delightful as narrator Charles Dickens and Rizzo the Rat is fabulous as himself. The songs are great and I love, love, love it. Man, I love, love, love a lot of Christmas movies, don't I?

Just in time for Christmas dinner is Christmas classic Miracle on 34th Street - the black & white original, not the remake. Aw, this movie is so good. Maureen O'Hara is awesome, and Natalie Wood is so freakin' cute I could eat her up with a spoon. Adorable! And the ending is so great. It's everything a Christmas movie should be.

The best of all Christmas movies, I say, is It's A Wonderful Life. So. Amazingly. Good. I've seen it almost every year, and it's still fabulous. Fab. U. Lous. I get all teary at the end every time. Aw, so Christmassy fantastic!

And last, but not least, we have Janice's recommendation White Christmas. I already had this Christmas goodie, and it's fantastic. I love Bing Crosby and with the singing and the dancing and the fabulous, it's a Christmas delight. The only song I don't like is Choreography, but I can always fast forward. Delightful!

And there ends the Christmas marathon. I need a rest now.

There were a few suggestions I didn't get to - Mike's suggestion of National Lampoon's Chritmas Vacation because I hate this movie. Hate! And I couldn't find Sarah's suggestion of The Box of Delights. And Sean suggested I drink eggnog, which I hate like poison.

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Diet Coke: The Christmas Letters

Dear Diet Coke,

I love you.



Dear Aaron,

So you say. Would it kill you to buy me a nice gift every once in a while? Or take me out for a nice meal?

I feel like this is really a one way relationship.

Diet Coke


Dear Diet Coke,

I'm sorry. You're right. And that time with the Diet Dr. Pepper... it meant nothing, I swear.



Dear Aaron,

Diet DR PEPPER? You know that degree is fake, right. Doctor, my ass. Diet Mr. Pepper is more like it.

I'd better not find out you've been messing around with that Diet Sprite slut.

Diet Coke


Dear Diet Coke,

Ew. I wouldn't touch Diet Sprite if it were the last pop on Earth. But is it my fault you ran out on Swiss Chalet and Pizza Pizza, leaving me with NO CHOICE but Diet Pepsi?

Painfully yours,


Dear Aaron,

You're right. I haven't always been there for you. Legal wrangling, too painful to go into now, means that I can no longer associate with delicious Swiss Chalet or delectable Pizza Pizza.

If you can forgive me, I can forgive you. Let's start over. There's no point fighting - not at Christmas!

Diet Coke


Dear Diet Coke,

I love you.


Monday, December 12, 2005

Who doesn't want a pet tiger?

A new pet will keep me company while I'm sick.

Meet Mr. Grrrrrr.

my pet!

Sick on a School Day

I'm using up my holiday before the end of the year, so I took off Friday and today. Which would all be very delightful if I hadn't spent the last two days in bed feeling wretched.

How unfair is it to be sick on a day off?

I've had a sore throat for a few days, but really thought I wasn't going to get properly sick. I was out dancing on Saturday night until about 4:30 am, and when I woke up on Sunday at 9:30 I thought I was feeling miserable due to the dreaded hangover/not-enough-sleep combination.

But no.

I'm headachy and exhausted and stuffed up and achy and coughing and feeling very blah.

So, I've spent the last two days in bed. Sleeping tons and watching bad TV and reading the Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe books (I'm currently on The Silver Chair). Feeling miserable and taking lots of medication. Ahhhh, Lemsip. How I love you.

But you know what the most unfair bit is? Not that I didn't get my Christmas shopping done today. Not that I missed out on lunch with Leanne. Not that I'm actually watching the horrible Space Cadets. Not that I didn't get a chance to buy some new clothes, which I'd planned to do today. Not that I'm almost out of Kleenex.

It's that I'm feeling a bit better. Which probably means I'm going to be okay to go to work tomorrow.

Sick on a day off. What are the odds? One in a million.