Remember when you were in the second grade, and the day before Valentine's Day, you decorated a brown paper bag to stick to the side of your desk to act as your Valentine's mailbox? And then your mom took you to the store, and you got to pick your Valentine's cards. It's always a tricky decision. Too obvious and cheesy and everyone else will have the same ones. Too esoteric and unexpected and your classmates will think you're a freak. You finally decide on your selection, and then the tricky part comes. Allocating the cards. You sit down with the list of your class that your teacher helpfully handed out the week before and start divvying them up. The cutest boy in the class clearly gets the most suggestive card. Or at least, the most suggestive card that the Care Bears selection has to offer. The gross boy that everyone hates gets the one with a bad pun and a drawing of a frowning lemon. You don't want him to think you like him, do you? There's always one "best friend" card, and it's always tricky to think of which of your seven best friends to give it to.
I miss those times. I also miss getting thirty Valentine's cards.
In a tribute to the Care Bear card days of yore, I give you my Valentine's treat to you.
Happy Valentine's Day, from me to you.
Enjoy it like you're eight years old.