Reasons I Could Not Call In Sick To Work Today

• My phone was dead, so I couldn't send the subtle yet effective "am ill, staying home, on mobile if you need me" text.
• My new phone, with hopefully longer battery life, is supposed to arrive at work today, and I can easily devote an hour of work time to playing with it.
• We do have a big meeting tomorrow that I should prep for.
• My hangover is really telling me that I want a baked potato with coleslaw and cheese for lunch, and I can't get that at my house.
• I have plans to go to the pub quiz tonight, and my mother's mantra of "if you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to go out" means that I will feel too guilty to do that.
• Who will spend hours of work time browsing the internet if I'm not there to do it?
• I am not actually sick.