Lunchtime antics

Every day after I buy my sandwich for lunch, I go to the corner shop to buy a Diet Coke and a bag of crisps.

And every day, after I place my wrapped sandwich on the counter to find the 90p to pay for my Diet Coke and Doritos, I ask for a bag.

And every single day, I place the Diet Coke and Tangy Cheese Doritos in the bag, pick up the sandwich, walk out of the shop, and then, and only then, place the sandwich in the bag.

It occurred to me today that this is very odd behaviour. It should be obvious to the guys behind the counter that my three items (sandwich, Diet Coke and crisps) are too many things to carry in my two hands. So, naturally I require a bag. And, of course, it seems silly to put two of the three things I am carrying in the bag and carry the third thing in my other hand. Why not keep them together?

And then I realized why I do this. I worry that if they see me putting things not purchased at their shop in the bag, they will take it away from me.

That's right. I live in fear that the two very nice men who work in the shop will walk from behind the counter, confiscate the bag, walk back behind the counter and shame me. "No!", they will say. "Only food from our shop goes in the bags! You're banned! Banned, I say! Now get out, you shameful bag-misusing hussy!"

Sometimes, my mind is a frightening place to be.