Friday, March 16, 2007

Fashion Avenger

Dear Woman I Saw On The Stairs Transferring Between The DLR And Northern Line at Bank Station On Sunday,

I'd like to share something with you, if I may. In 1990, I was in the seventh grade. As I'm sure you're aware the pre-teen years are often not kind to girls, fashion wise. Not only did we all love New Kids On The Block, perms and super hairsprayed bangs, but we all either pinned or rolled our trousers.

See, the fashion at the time was to either fold in and roll the cuff of your jeans or trousers tight against your ankle, or pin your trousers, either just at the ankle or from the ankle to mid-calf.

You've got to keep in mind that this was 1990. The fashion was not for tight jeans. It was for baggy jeans. Baggy, pleated, often highly patterned jeans. So, this rolling or pinning created an upsetting effect that flattered no one.

We also wore them with slouch socks, often more than one pair, that we'd colour coordinate to our outfits.

It wasn't a good look. But, in my defense, it was 1990, and I was twelve. I've learned a lot since then.

Do you see what I'm trying to tell you?

Because I'm trying to understand why you were rocking this look last Sunday. In 2007. When you were older than twelve.

I actually did a triple take when I saw your trousers. "Nice colour", I thought. "What the? No, I must have seen that wrong, " I thought. "Nope, didn't see that wrong. What the HELL?", I thought again.

Perfectly fine khaki trousers, ruined by being skin tight from the ankle to the knee, creating a very unfortunate jodhpur effect. I couldn't tell whether you'd modified them, or if they were designed that way. But, you know what? It doesn't matter.

Why, why, why? Why???

I already lived through this look once. I've dealt with a lot of unfortunate looks from my childhood becoming fashionable again, but I'm damned if I'm going to deal with this again.

Get it together lady. I'm not going to re-live the early nineties again. Buy some new trousers.

For all of us.

All the best,

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