Back from Edinburgh...

... and feeling crappy.

Had an absolutely fantastic time, though. Edinburgh is absolutely gorgeous - small enough to not have to take taxis or public transit everywhere and so, so pretty.

Sarah and I decided that it would be best to start the journey with a hangover, and joined four other lovely ladies for a girlie night at Jenny's house on Wednesday night. Pizza, pink champagne, chocolates, fabulous (if I do say so myself) mixed cd's and quality television. Who could ask for more? After deciding at about 3am that we should probably try and get a little bit of sleep, we then got up at 6 to meet Tim at Kings Cross for 7:30.

Can I just say that if you're taking the train to Edinburgh - don't do it in the smoking car. Gross. Especially for a non-smoker. My eyes are hurting just thinking about four and a half hours in a smoke filled box. We got to Edinburgh at about 12:30 on Thursday and were met by the lovely John at the train station and taken to the flat. It's a crazy zig-zaggy stairs everywhere kind of flat, but huge. It was the Short Fuse flat that we were staying at. Clare was telling us a story about getting lost in it last year and Sarah and I were all Lost in a flat? How lame can you get? Now that I've seen it, I can understand. It's confusing.

We went to see Big Word when we first got there, which I was too tired to totally enjoy. Trains + hangovers = tired Alice. It was really hot in the room, and I was all tired and stuff and I think I may have dozed off slightly. How bad is that?

And then we had drinks. That being the theme of the weekend - drinks.

To be honest, I can't remember everything we did in consecutive order. Things kind of blur together. Now that I'm back in the office, it really doesn't seem likely that we ever went away. But I will now provide a list of the most memorable things about the weekend:

• Cocksucker. The phrase of the trip, and so very versitile in it's use. Try sending it in a text message, or yelling it at a stranger on the street, or adding it to a line of poetry: "Shall I compare thee to a summer cocksucker". Hilarious, I tell you.
• Bloody Mary's with breakfast. It's not really an alcoholic drink if it has vitamins in it. Of course, when breakfast is at 1pm, then all bets are off.
• The mirken (spelling to be confirmed) - apparently it's a pubic wig. Why does this exist? How does one wear it? Who came up with this? And, most importantly, why does this exist??
• Healthy broccoli. Someone told Nathan that he looked like healthy broccoli. What could that possibly mean? Is it an insult? A compliment? Was it just because he was wearing a green shirt?
• The summer Olympics are boring. Seriously, badminton is an Olympic sport? Now give me a good winter Olympics. That's entertainment.
• Kobrinsky and Andy discovering that they could both do the Highland Fling on the train platform in Perth. And performing it drunkenly. On the train platform. And then again outside a pub in Edinburgh. We kidnapped him, and he got drunk with us. Excellent.
• Sarah doing the only spit take I think I've ever seen in real life - all over Nathan's Auntie Avril.
• Going to see Drinking and Writing and getting drunk with the writers/performers. Who both drink and write. Much like the people I was staying with. I just drink.
• Viv, the hot rickshaw driver. Cheryl would have you believe that it was just Sarah and I checking out his ass but she totally was too. Sarah, however, was the only one who took photos. Of his ass. As he was driving the three of us around the very hilly city of Edinburgh.
• Sabrina George - proud owner of the worst flyer in the entire festival. More typos than you could possibly imagine. And a constant source of fun: "Do you think she meant 'see her' instead of 'see ger'?" Nathan was keeping it in his jacket pocket to show to random people. Excellent.
• "Listen to your friend Billy Zane". Quoting Zoolander never gets old.
• Seeing Short Fuse twice, because we forgot to take photos the first time. Even after being reminded several times. Lame!
• Hating the people handing out flyers - Damn you, Poe people!
• "It's so dark in my space"
• The shame of only seeing three shows the entire time we were there. Just the three I mentioned. How bad is that?

So, it was a great long weekend. I was very happy to get back to my bed, and am now ill, but it was totally worth it.

Next time, I think I'll actually try to see some shows. Just an idea.