Monday, March 14, 2005

Imaginary Hobos & Genius Business Plans

You know sometimes when you have a fabulous messenger conversation about a fabulous imaginary hobo named Hobo Joe? And then you try to write a blog entry about him, but it just makes you seem crazy? Yeah, that totally just happened to me. So instead, I give you the conversation that spawned Hobo Joe.


Aaron: Bonjourno.

Alice: Bonjourno to you too!

Aaron: It means "nuts to work" in Italian.

Alice: I hear what you’re sayin’. I do.

Aaron: How’s the biz over there?

Alice: Tiring. How’s the biz over there?

Aaron: Sucks donkey ass.

Aaron: I’m thinking I should just wrap all my belongings into a bandana, tie it to the end of a stick, and then I’ll run away and join the circus.

Alice: That sounds FUN! I’ll come too, and we can be a team of acrobats.

Aaron: Oooh, I like it! And on our journey, we can befriend an old toothless hobo who will regale us with his tales of adventure on the rails.

Alice: That sounds delightful! His name will be Hobo Joe, and he'll be full of wisdom and hilarious stories. And he'll tragically become very ill while telling us the story of his lost gold, and then he’ll ask us to go on an adventure and find it. And he’ll let us have the money, and we'll be rich! Rich as Eskimos!

Aaron: That’s it. I’m doing this now!

Aaron: Oh, and how rich are Eskimos supposed to be?

Alice: Duh. Rich.

Aaron: Sorry. I’m stupid.

Alice: Don’t feel bad. Most people don't know that about Eskimos

Aaron: You should write a book about them.

Alice: That's a good idea

Aaron: And the irony is, the book will make you as rich as an Eskimo!

Alice: Ha HA! The plan, she works!

Aaron: You know, you should start up your own company with your book money.

Alice: You know, I should.

Alice: I’ll call it "Alice’s Emporium of the Weird and/or Wonderful"

Alice: And it will be a hat shop

Aaron: I think you should hire Hobo Joe as a salesperson.

Alice: He’d be so good. He’d really charm the customers.

Aaron: He would. You could set up a corner of the store just for him. There’d be a little campfire, and he'd have cans of beans to warm over the fire. People could sit around and listen to him talk, and he'd work details about your hats into his stories.

Alice: Such a charmer. I love that Hobo Joe.

Aaron: And I’d be outside pacing in front of the store, wearing a sandwich board, shouting, "HATS FOR SALE!"

Alice: Oh, you'd rake in the big bucks for that, I tell you.


Alice: Oooh, that makes it sound like we stole their hats, and now trying to sell it back to them. I LOVE it!

Aaron: That’s the best way to turn a profit.

Alice: So true

Aaron: But the best part is that you won't even have to pay Hobo Joe. He’ll just sleep in front of the fire at night, and so long as he's got his beans and whiskey, he'll be just fine.

Alice: Oh, Hobo Joe. He’s so good like that.

Aaron: Here, i drew a picture of Hobo Joe:

Hobo Joe Posted by Hello

Alice: You are a very talented artiste.

Alice: That looks just like him!

Aaron: Thank you.

Aaron: God bless hobo Joe.

Alice: Indeed


Hobo Joe has also won the lead role in Aaron's imaginary movie, so he'll be coming to an imaginary cinema near you very soon!


Bette O'Callaghan said...

I think Hobo Joe, and you n' Aaron, should be singin' my poem/song A Simple Life, don't you? So get them twangs warmed up and proceed to yodel your way through it.

kobrinsky said...

I think Hobo Joe in the hat store is a fab idea. I think he just asked me for money, which I gladly gave him, here in Californ-I-A...