Dear People of London,
Hey, isn't this hot weather great? Remember last year, when it rained all summer? Didn't that suck? And isn't all this sun and hot weather nice?
I know there can be downsides to the weather though. It can be too hot to sleep at night. Offices don't have air conditioning and it can get all hot and sweaty at work. You can get sunburned if you're not careful in the sun.
The weather's still nice though, isn't it?
But you know what's not so nice?
Summer "fashions". People of London - why are you doing this to me? I know it's hot, and I know you're uncomfortable and sweaty and miserable.
I know all of this. I know this because I feel the same way. I get grumpy when I'm overheated, the same way you do.
But you know what I don't do? I don't wear hideous clothing designed to reveal as much of the human body as possible, and designed to singe the retinas of anyone who looks upon it.
I don't really understand what makes a sensible dresser give in to the impulse to wear unattractive skimpy clothing. Has the heat affected your sense of style? Did the high temperature kill off the part of your brain that registers good and bad taste?
And you know, it's not just the larger of you Londoners who is committing these fashion atrocities. It's not about size, people. It's about taste. And it's about not wanting to send you all home to change, because does your mother know you leave the house looking like that?
It's just that here's the thing. You don't need to be practically naked to stay cool in the heat. A nice roomy linen item of clothing is going to do the trick just as well.
Wear what you want in your own house. I mean, what I'm wearing right now isn't attractive, but I'm not making you look at it, am I? When you're out on the street, try to have some consideration for those around you. Don't make us look at that.
Come on, people of London. I know we can make this work if we try.