Wednesday, July 05, 2006

The Routine

Every evening when I go to bed, I have a fairly clear idea of what the plan is for the following morning, timing wise.

It should look something like this:

  • 7am - Alarm goes off. Press snooze button.
  • 7:15am - Get out of bed. Open bedroom door and dodge kitten attack as they race into the bedroom.
  • 7:20am - Have relaxing shower.
  • 7:40am - Follow skincare regime - toner, moisturizer, eye cream. Admire fabulous looking skin.
  • 7:45am - Return to bedroom and turn on TV to ITV3 to watch Quincy. Comb hair, apply styling product and begin drying.
  • 7:55am - Finish drying hair, put on makeup, get dressed.
  • 8:10am - Feed kittens, feed fish and water plants. Try to close bedroom door, remove kittens who have raced into bedroom, close bedroom door
  • 8:20am - Locate iPod, mobile and anything else I'll need for the day. Brush teeth.
  • 8:30am - Leave for work.
  • 9:30am - Arrive at work, on time.

It seems so idyllic, doesn't it? And like a crazy person, every single night, I convince myself that this will be what happens in the morning.

I am twenty eight years old. I have been working full time for eight years. That's approximately 1,960 work days.

You would think that, by now, I would be more aware that this is going to be more likely the situation:

  • 7am - Alarm goes off. Press snooze button.
  • 7:15am - 8am - Continue pressing snooze button, deluding myself each time that I will get up after the alarm goes off the next time.
  • 8:15am - Sit bolt upright in blind panic, realizing that I have to leave in 15 minutes.
  • 8:16am - Race to bathroom, tripping over kittens in haste. Kick kittens out of bathroom after they attempt to jump in bathtub. Have world's fastest shower.
  • 8:20am - Slap on toner and eye cream. There's no time to moisturize! Cannot admire face, as mirror is still steamed up from shower. Assume I look fine. Race back to bedroom.
  • 8:22am - Turn on TV. Curse the fact that Quincy has been moved to 8:45 and I now have to watch stupid Heartbeat as I get ready. No time to find something better.
  • 8:23am - Dry hair and get dressed at the same time. While choosing outfit, choices are limited, as a large portion of my wardrobe is disqualified. There is no time for ironing. Curse the pile of clothes on my chair, wrinkling clothes as they sit there.
  • 8:26am - Put on makeup and jewellery at lightening speed.
  • 8:28am - Kick kittens out of bedroom, and shut door.
  • 8:29am - Realize I've forgotten my rings, phone and iPod. Get them. Kick kittens out of bedroom again, and shut the door.
  • 8:32am - Feed kittens and fish. Debate whether or not there is time to water plants. Feel guilty for being a plant killer. Water plants.
  • 8:36am - Brush teeth.
  • 8:38am - Leave for work.
  • 8:39am - Realize I've forgotten my phone, and whatever I needed to bring to work. Return to the flat.
  • 8:42am - Leave for work again.
  • 8:42am - Realize that although I have still forgotten something, I can't return to the flat again. There's no time!
  • 9:45am - Arrive work. Late. Again.

Clearly, my morning plan has flaws. But unless I start setting my alarm for 5am, I don't think that this problem can be solved. Curse my love of the snooze button! Curse it!

I think the start is a new alarm clock - this one may be the ticket.


Lost Newf said...

I so love that alarm clock... where can I get it?!?

You know I've gotten to the point that I don't even hear the alarm anymore... I push snooze surely but I have memory of it, for the hour that I do it. Ted hitting his snooze button I hear and hate because I could be sleeping not listening to his alarm...

Anonymous said...

Of course eventually "Clocky" will run out of places to hide and you will likely get "Stabby"


Janice said...

Hi Alice,

Or you could just place your allarm clock you curently have on the far side of the room, that way you'll have to actually get out of bed just to turn the allarm off!


Anonymous said...

Ah, lucky me, I have found an alarm clock a couple of times a week that works - a boyfriend that has to leave an hour before I do: meaning he has to set the alarm an hour before I do. So, I manage to wake up at the same time as he and fill in a bunch of time while he's in the shower and doing his own admiring in the mirror... Unless of course I use that time to read your blog and then of course I'm late again...

Mike's g/f

Anonymous said...

That... kinda creeps me out. Looks like a bionic hamster. I wouldn't want to put my hand on it, so the alarm would ring forever and ever and the neighbours would come and kill me. That clock causes death! Actual death! Eeeeevil....


The Natural Blue said...

That sounds exactly like my morning itinery.

One thing I have been pondering - even when I manage to get out of bed after the first alarm, how come I am still late for work?

Of course, there's always 'horrendous traffic' hampering my journey (and most of the time, that's even true!)

Dory x