Okay, here’s the thing. Toilet paper is not a decorative item. It’s functional. It doesn’t need to be pretty. It doesn’t need to be pink or orange or lavender or green. White is just fine.
I do not understand the appeal of coloured toilet paper. In fact, I find it vaguely offensive. I don’t feel the need to match my toilet paper to my bathroom. And even if I did, it’s 2004 – not 1974. My bathroom is not avocado and I do not need green toilet paper to match it. Even if I did have lavender walls, I would not require the exact shade to be matched by every single item in the room. Realistically, most sinks and bathtubs and toilets are white, so a normal white toilet paper is going to be the best match anyway.
I know what you’re thinking. “Dude, relax. If it upsets you that much, then just don’t use it.”
And I would be fine with that. If the freaks with whom I share bathrooms wouldn’t keep buying it. But they do! If they realized how much it pissed me off, they’d probably stop. I have mentioned on occasion that I prefer white, but they never seem to understand that by “prefer”, I mean “really really really hate any other option”. And clarifying that might make me seem a little crazy.
(These people have some very educational information about toilet paper. If you’re interested. And I suspect you are.)
2 comments:
Alice, get over it. I've known you for a while and didn't even think you used toilet paper. I know what boys use it for, and that girls use more, but what for?
Girls use toilet paper because they cry a lot, and Alice is upset about the coloured stuff because, obviously, it clashes with her mascara and eyeliner. Besides I heard that stuff was supposed to make your stomach bleed or something.
/yes, I am Anonimity defined.
Post a Comment